Self-care is such a cliche phrase. I know what first comes to mind for some people: bubble baths and face masks. Wine and a cat. Getting a massage. Those are all great tactics, but that’s not what self-care is. Those are outputs of self-care. Self-care is taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. Sometimes it means doing what you really don’t want to do, like eating kale or going to the doctor, and sometimes, yes, it means bubble baths and wine. But the overall concept of self-care is — and this is complex, so pay attention — to take care of yourself inside and out. What an idea!

We, as human beans, are likely to put others before us. We are expected to give our time, money, resources, etc. And that’s great! But what’s not great is allowing these things to suck your soul from your body and give you no reason to live or love yourself.

As I’ve mentioned before, you have a self-care toolbox. And like I’ve said, everyone’s toolbox is different.

I have so many friends that have told me they don’t like self-help books. “Why do they have the right to tell me how to live my life?” one friend asked me. But that’s the thing — no one is telling you how to live your life. All the books/tips/guides are just suggestions. Who cares if you write things you’re grateful for in the morning instead of at night (or not at all)? Self-care ghosts will not haunt you if you don’t go to the gym every day. You are not disappointing anyone if you drink 64 ounces of water instead of a gallon. Do what works best for you and do what makes you happiest.

A lot of guides won’t work for you. Are you mushy and emotional and hate when people yell at you? You might not like Tony Robbins. You don’t have to read the books or listen to the podcasts that make you feel like a crybaby — although, they can help you better understand how to handle and process your emotions.

So I guess what I’m saying is… take no advice. Fend for yourself. You are alone.

TOTALLY kidding. You have so many resources surrounding you. Friends, dogs, loved ones. More dogs, yes. But I’m speaking specifically to the books, podcasts, social media accounts, music. Take it all in, but take it with a grain of salt. You have to be confident in who you are and what you believe to form your own judgments. You can’t practice self-care if you don’t trust your gut. These resources are all merely suggestions. Choose the ones that help you and speak to your intentions. Thank the rest and send them on your way. One of the most invigorating notions about self-care is that you get to be selfish in what you believe. It’s up to YOU on what helps. You don’t have to enjoy Tony Robbins (he scares me, ok?). You don’t have to like Rachel Hollis (sad, but I get it). But you DO have to enjoy and like yourself.

Stop giving yourself to everyone else. Stop allowing yourself to be drained of energy because you aren’t dedicating time for yourself. You’re going to burnout. You’re going to end up unhappy and alone with someone you don’t even care about — YOURSELF.

Self-care is not a luxury. It is a necessity.

You are worthy of self-care. You are worthy of self-love. What, like 5 minutes to sit in the sun or take a walk around the block is going to get you fired? Like meditating for 10 minutes is going to make you forget about your to-do list? Following positive social media accounts is going to make you… *gasp* happy?! Guess what, bitch. You are WORTH. BEING. HAPPY. You are a phenomenal human, so take time to realize and celebrate it.