Life doesn’t go as planned, but we can always reflect. Here are some life updates, in case you’ve missed me. I know you did.
Continue reading “Life Updates: I’m Fulfilled, But I’m Struggling”
Tag: mental illness
Sorry I Was MIA, I Had A Mental Breakdown
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts
I realize no one is sitting here wondering “Hmmm, I wonder why Berkeley hasn’t written in a month? I sure do miss her oversharing her life on her blog!” But I felt like it would be disingenuous if I didn’t share what’s been going on. And you know, I live into vulnerability and breaking the stigma, after all.
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9/11 Trauma Still Lingers
2,977 lives.
2,135 US civilians.
372 foreigners.
343 firefighters.
71 law enforcement officers.
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If You’re A Teenager Struggling With A Mental Illness, Keep Fighting
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts
“In my head, I’m in a pitch-black, dark room. Things are scattered all over the floor. I can’t see what’s in front of me. Every time I get the courage to take another step, I trip over something else. I fall back down and hurt myself… and I can’t get back up.”
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8 Ways To Cope With Your Seasonal Depression
The mornings are getting quiet. The birds aren’t chirping quite as much as they used to. It’s a bit colder out in the morning now. I’m sipping my coffee, journaling my observations.
The smell of pumpkin spice, apple cinnamon, spruce fir, they all smell so nice, but they suck me down into my seasonal depression.
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Encouragement Goes A Long Way, No Matter How Small
Last night I was on Facebook, scrolling aimlessly, as one does while in the fifth month of a pandemic and lockdown. I saw a post from a friend that said, “Put this on your timeline and let everyone describe you with one word.” Not really thinking about it, I shared it to my own profile. I figured people would say some funny, lighthearted things, and that would be that. But when you expect one thing, the Universe throws you something else, whether good or bad. Some of the words I got made me tear up:
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I Denied My Sexuality And My Happiness To Fit In, But I’m Done With That
I had an awful time in high school. I loved the school I went to, but there were a few upperclassmen that treated me like absolute shit — and that included my on-and-off high school boyfriend. When I say they treated me like shit, I’m talking tampons on my car, shrimp in my mailbox, egging my car and house, etc. They also called me a slut for sleeping with upperclassmen, and all the while, on the inside, I was struggling with my internal homophobia.
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Breakups Cause Heartbreak, But They Create Growth
Wes had a tumultuous childhood. Between kindergarten and eighth grade, he had been enrolled in 12 different schools. He moved states frequently. He wasn’t able to make friends. Holding down a relationship of any kind is hard when you’re constantly moving.
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You’re Not A Failure If Your Depression Comes Back
I feel it happening again. The fog is drifting to my thoughts. It takes an obscene amount of energy to do work. I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep at night, falling asleep only to wake up every hour. I wake up hours past my alarm, unable to get out of bed.
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Theater Was My Therapy At My Darkest Times
Trigger warning: self harm, cutting, rape
I remember my first anxiety attack. It was my freshman year of high school. Right before bed, it felt like I was having a heart attack. My chest felt as if it was going to collapse in on itself, and my back felt like it was going to be snapped in half. I told my mom about my back pain, and we went to the doctor. They diagnosed me with scoliosis.
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Stigma Breakers 